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Lenten Humor During the Coronavirus Pandemic

Nancy Scheper-Hughes, anthropology professor | March 6, 2020

Orders from Italian Government:

1.The Italian government has ordered all sporting events to take place ‘without spectators’

2. Italians should try to remain 1 meter apart from each other.

(Carrying a tape measure is optional)

Advice from a few illustrious saints and a few notorious sinners.

— “Stay calm and don’t lose your head.” – St. John the Baptist

— “This is not the Apocalypse.” – St. John the Evangelist

— “Wash your hands often.” – Pontius Pilate

— “Avoid greeting people with a hug and kiss.” – Judas

— “Don’t touch your eyes, nose, mouth or any open wounds.”  – St. Thomas the Apostle

— “Pets and other animals cannot spread this disease!”  – St. Francis of Assisi

— “Try to avoid going to China.” – Matteo Ricci — first Jesuit missionary to enter China

Above all, if someone tries to forcefully shake your hand, use the Pope Francis maneuver:  A good hard slap!

[Photo here of Pope Francis slapping a woman]

Then  apologize profusely and humbly the next day to all the world from your balcony,  followed by the Vatican’s chief spokesman explaining that:

“It was a simple question of hygiene”.

[photo of Francis apologizing ]