One of the greatest things about our long-term romantic relationships is that they can provide comfort and predictability in this wild world we live in. But let’s face it: Long-term relationships can get a little boring. Within nine to eighteen months, research suggests, 87 percent of couples lose that knee-quaking excitement they felt when they … Continue reading »
relationships
You can’t have it all, but you might get a “thank you”
“Having it all” has been trending for two weeks, ever since Anne-Marie Slaughter’s blockbuster essay “Why Women Still Can’t Have it All” went live on the website of The Atlantic magazine. “It’s time to stop fooling ourselves,” says the Princeton professor and former State Department official. “The women who have managed to be both mothers … Continue reading »
The Precarious Couple Effect
(Part II of the series “When Not to Trust an Intuition of Compatibility”) Research shows that certain types of couples don’t work very well together. Bill Swann at UT Austin and his colleagues have identified one such type of couple, whom they dub the “Precarious Couple.” Precarious couples are the specific combination of a quiet, … Continue reading »
Sculpt your partner: Be like Mike (Michaelangelo)
As relationships grow, it’s important for partners to remember that healthy relationships are ones in which each individual can also grow within the relationship. You can do a lot for your partner — and your relationship — by helping him or her grow. Psychologsits Caryl Rusbult and her colleagues (Rusbult, Finkel, & Kumashiro, 2009) have used the metaphor … Continue reading »
Star-crossed lovers: When not to trust an intuition of compatibility
Imagine you are reading profiles in an online dating service, and you come across a description like this: “I will treat you like you are God until you break my trust and then you are just another person…. warning ahead, I do have a very bad temper…. I do admit I will get jealous if … Continue reading »
Living togetherness
People of a certain age (like me) can recall a time when the phrases “living together in sin” or “shacking up” were spoken in an embarrassed whisper. One did not discuss such things in front of the children or in polite company. When movie stars were revealed to have done it, newspapers printed scandalized headlines. … Continue reading »